cheating is the new monogamy. i have started sleeping with a few guys with girlfriends. one guy ive been getting to know is married with a kid and is coming to see me in two weeks. one is the best sex ive had in ages and is incredibly hot and is hilariously over eager. all my best girls, well the single ones, keep finding themselves falling for or gettting with guys who then reveal are “kind of seeing someone”. ultimately boy code for “in a very serious long term relationship”. thier facebook status even says, in a relationship with…. not that we have been checking. my theory is that i would never cheat on anyone and if anyone cheated on me, i would cut thier dick off. however, if someone wants to cheat and they are hot, well that is their problem. its their responsibility and decision. my friend has unfortunately fallen for a guy with a live in girl and asked for my advice on how to cope with the potential fun and pitfalls of an affair. i wanted to share my advice to her, because remaining guilt free, maintaining deniability and knowing that you are winning is most important to survival and i found it quite empowering. this is a guide for deciding and preparing for entering into such a situation.
1. you are doing nothing wrong. you are not kissing or fucking him (or any other inappropriate behavior) no matter how much you may be doing it in real life. convince yourself of this and you will be fine and will not falter if someone questions you. you have to genuinely believe it your self and believe you are doing nothing wrong.
2. if you manage to get your self in that mind set. then you are pretty much ready to do anything. you have deniability!
3. however. if you think you will get much too into him to your detriment, then it might not be wise to pursue it too much, cause you will get hurt and feel rubbish every time he sees her, talks to her, and every minute he isnt with you.
4. but, when you really like someone none of that matters, an the pain is worth the good times. till the weight of the pain does not balance the fun.
5. so once you have weighed up if the pain is worth it, and have got total self belief in your deniability. then have fun! nothing beats a secret affair.
6. one point to note would be to find out his intentions. for you to do this he has to be up for throwing caution to the wind when he is with you alone. you dont want all the emotions and pain for no banging!!! he has to bang you, or dont do it!!!!
7. you have to be strong and take silent pleasure that he picked you and you have the power (convince yourself of this) despite the fact he wont leave her and will ultimately choose her, you still have the upper hand cause you are the fun, bit on the side, dirty secret, and he would risk everything for you, the mistress! even if that is all you ever are.
8. enjoy it.
9. when it hurts to much, stop it. and be aware that might mean having to change part of your life where your lives intersected.
10. and finally. be prepared that people might find out. you have deniability. but if that fails you could also be hated. but that will be by a girl you dont know and her boring friends. oh and judgmental people. and probably a few more besides. so make sure you can handle that. your real friends wouldnt ever hold it against you though. unless it is one of their boyfriends. and that might have needed a few more points to cover surviving that!
yes i am a mega bitch. sorry. maybe honesty is not the best policy, in all ways.