…wanted to tell you my fantasies

hmm my fantasies. i have a few. detailed role plays i want to act out. but i never want to tell someone i want to do it cause it would go against the fantasy. its a hard line to figure out how to tell someone to rape you and to feel like you are being raped. i guess that gives away one of my fantasies. there are so many rape scenarios that i would like to try out. bound, gagged, reluctant, fighting, screaming and crying gang rape is a pretty exciting option for me. having my body used and abused for many mens pleasure with no regard for my feelings or my own sexual satisfaction. i most like the idea of someone taking advantage of me when they think i dont know it is happening. this fantasy has so many forms. sleep rape. being drunk or drugged to a point where i cant say no, if i am even aware anything is happening anyway. being at a doctors surgery and being unaware that his examination was too…intimate. they key for me in all these incidences is that they arent real. i am not asleep. i am not passed out. i am not unaware of what is happening to me and im not too naive to know better. but what is very important is that the person doing it thinks i am. i will play up to their thoughts. if they think i am asleep, i wont wake up, i wont move. same for drugged or passed out drunk. even being at the masseuse who massages too high up my thigh. i dont say anything. i just let them use me. the thought that they think they are taking advantage of me and using me for their pleasure, combined with me having to be completely still, silent and unresponsive to any touches or actions, is what sends me over the edge.